Gut check: Without risk, there is no reward

Moments into the first lecture, the professor stood in front of the entire entering class and, with a confident nod, said: "Leadership is about taking a risk."

Risk. For months, every time someone mentioned that four-letter word, it made my stomach churn.

I just couldn't get over the fact that I had quit my steady position with The Globe and Mail's Report on Business to go back to school, deep into debt and earn a degree that will have me compete against more than 100,000 MBA students who graduate every year from business schools worldwide.

But there I sat in Week No. 1 of the Masters of Business Administration program at York University's Schulich School of Business, having traded in my full-time gig with this paper for the far-less-glamorous life of a full-time grad student.

Like many of my late-twenty/early-thirty-something friends who are also toying with the idea of starting anew, my career move began a few years ago with a glance around the office -- and the frightening realization that I wanted to become a participant in business, instead of an observer.

I envisioned what my career would look like in 25 years and feared looking back with regret about staying in my position because of stability.

I had always been intrigued by Corporate Canada (which is what led me into financial journalism in the first place), and started thinking of ways that would meld my skills as a reporter with my interest in business.

Not long after, I had my "aha" moment: media management.

As part of my due diligence (I was, after all, a business journalist), I took on-line career tests, chatted with top people at different media companies, read self-help books and thought about the times in my life when I was happiest at work.

I recalled working at a day camp as a teenager, where I was a group leader and assistant director. I remembered running for student council and working as an editor at a campus newspaper during my undergraduate years in Ottawa.

I recalled launching a very successful fundraising event a few years ago, how many volunteer hours I put into that effort and how I loved every minute of it.

One theme kept popping up: leadership. Some other realizations: I enjoy taking control of tasks, creating a vision and implementing new programs.

My next decision came after conversations with industry executives -- I would apply to do my MBA, a degree that would train me in leadership and the business skills I didn't already know through my day-to-day reporting.

After spending nearly two years researching schools, interviewing graduates and students, writing entrance exams, jotting countless pros-and-cons lists and applying to school, I found out last spring that I had been accepted into York's MBA program.

York's program is one of the few in North America with an arts and media stream.

Still, I just couldn't shake the idea of how much risk was involved in such a move.

Sure, I had people pulling me aside privately to say how courageous such a move would be, how they wished they had done the same when they were 29 and how, if you don't take risks, you'll wind up with regrets.

But each conversation triggered that wave of nausea as I thought about the ramifications.

My wife was behind me 100 per cent but would her salary and our savings be enough to cover the mortgage, our lifestyle and the $40,000 I'll need for tuition?

What if I went through the program and realized that journalism was indeed my calling?

What if I hated it?

It's an investment, I kept telling myself, and all investments require risk.

"What does your gut tell you?" a former colleague asked, when I told him that I had been accepted into business school and was seriously considering quitting.

"It's in knots," I replied.

"Then you're making the right decision -- no risk, no reward."

In early July, I walked into my boss's office and quit.

To my surprise, he shook my hand, said he supported my decision and added that not enough people take risks nowadays.

That only made my nausea worse, as I realized my departure from The Globe was a fait accompli.

To my surprise, however, my stomach didn't tense up when that first professor mentioned that leadership-risk correlation this past week.

Perhaps it's my gut telling me that I am doing the right thing after all.

Former Report on Business reporter Richard Bloom will write regularly on his new pursuit.